Wednesday, April 27, 2005

finally having significant words

Hello dear friends. My voice has been to faint from across the sea and I realize that I give you too little knowledge of my activity here in Lisbon. I am sorry for not being motivated and diligent enough to keep you coming often to my blog. However, for the audience that still remains, I wish to tell you what new and exciting things God is doing here with me.

As I have stated before, I often read, finding the pages of other’s thoughts to be my challenge to grow, to become wiser, and to be changed not by my own efforts. I desire greatly to return to you with evidence of a life clearly aimed at the purpose of the One who sent me here. I realize that all of you are also changing and that our reunion may not melt into the way we were before. Both sadness and joyfulness run alongside these thoughts. Currently, I am reading every man’s battle, which is a book aimed at men desiring a sexually pure and free life. I have realized for some time now that my thoughts are so trapped by visual stimulation that I can hardly see who I want to become. It is an ankle clasp that has held me back from running towards the freedom of Christ’s message. A message so covered in love that its overflow gives confidence (not pride) to those who approach its truth. I want to run towards the truth, but even now in these words I know that my desire is weak. I want to want to run.

Your prayers through my boredom have done great work. I realize now that boredom itself is a gift that provides the opportunity to listen and be still. Even though I am a borderline introvert, this concept of the gift of solitude has never really occurred to me. I pray now that I see these times in my life as a great gift and not a curse so that I can find direction and not wander in growing doubts. However, boredom is fading fast and God has given me some opportunities to work.

Tonight I begin leading a guys small group associated with Young Life Ministries. The two awesome young women who lead Young Life in Lisbon are well, women. Because of this, the organization has found little breakthrough in the area of male leadership. Just weeks ago, for spring break, Young Life took a mission trip to Romania for a week. There were something like 150 youth who went on the trip, and of that group a hand full of guys have stepped forward to say that they would like to grow in their spiritual walk through learning together about the nature of Christ. Janelle asked me to lead this group for the coming weeks until Zaca, the man feeling the call to mentor this group permanently, is able to put all his efforts towards this. Currently Zaca is taking classes and he has projects and exams coming soon. I feel incredibly grateful to be able to contribute to the development of this much-needed group. It provides me an opportunity to know that I am leaving something behind when my work here is through. It’s a legacy I aim for. Pray that my values of honesty and growth will motivate them to desire similar patterns among themselves and knit them together in reliance on each other.

Finally, for now at least, I finished the book Soul Survivor, and Ron had encouraged me to pass this book on to one of my college friends. He asked me to pray about whom that might be and how it might be used to bring glory to the Father. I did not have to pray or think long, because I knew that I needed to give this book to Daniel. I pray that it will be read and that we will have a chance to discuss the story of Christ and how it influences people’s lives. Continue to join me in this ministry with your prayers. They are always heard across the seas.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

a discussion forum

if you have not seen "million dollar baby", i will try not to ruin the plot for you because it was a really good movie. the oscar's got the best movie of the year right this time. it ties in to the big debates of america right now about terri sch(something), the pope, and the idea of what is living and what is all but dead.

what do you think is right or wrond in regards to euthanasia?

(i will talk more on the comments side because i feel i would do exactly what i don't want to do and ruin a good movie for most of you otherwise.)

lets discuss and remember principled tollerance.

needing your words

hey friends.

sorry i have not posted anything lately, but my life has been brutally boring for about two weeks now. why am i hear exactly? i miss activity and i miss home. i am not homesick right now, but i am thirsting for opportunity where the landscape seems dry. i know this is partly because spring break came so early and most of the people i had opportunities with were going home for two weeks. however, it still feel like such a struggle. i struggle to get up in the morning. sometimes i miss the morning altogether. it is partly a product of going to bed at 3am each night (it seems i prefer american time zones to the europeans), but truthfully i would do that most nights anyway. i read more than i have ever read before. i think i have finished 6 books so far, and by the end of the week it will be eight. i learn and like to learn from reading, but when that is all i seem to do that is fruitful, i feel unuseful.

i guess what i am saying is that i would like to hear from you (kind of like pleading for complements but with words of encouragement). yet, don't let it go to my head. my ego rests somewhere between my eyes and my mind. i love you all.