tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102469562024-03-19T17:13:21.123-04:00It's Not Rockett Science!!thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-63739051542796188132010-10-02T10:25:00.001-04:002010-10-02T10:26:47.406-04:00Letter to LSU fansI wrote this earlier in the week after being upset by the boos and earlier departure of "LSU fans" in a close game against West Virginia.<br /><br />It's hard when you look down from the top of the mountain to realize where you have been. But what if we remember this season in a different (more grateful) context of where we have been:<br /><br />Remember those seasons before Saban where our team was poorly coached and the great players from Louisiana all played for FSU, Miami, and other SEC schools. Remember the frustrations of having a mediocre team, and grasping tightly to any glimpse of hope and progress, believing this play or young player might be just what we need to turn the game, and maybe the season, around. Remember sitting in your parents bedroom watching the nationally televised games in black and white (for the rest we chose the radio with Jimmy's magical voice). Remember believing we were a team with promise on the verge of busting out. Remember being grateful for the good seasons that were barely less than great. Remember the major upsets and how we stormed the field, and how those upsets changed the expectations for who our Tigers are.<br /><br />It's exciting to have a program on top, but with it come the weighty expectations to always perform at the highest level. Yet these are just overgrown adolescents with a physical gift. <br /><br />If you are like me, you remember the first time you realized that our football gods were just a small sample size of students trying to make it on a major college campus. Sure they are revered as the highest form of college student, but when you sit next to them in class you remember that they are no older than you, no less prone to the pressures of life, and no less likely to crack when the pop quiz comes. We want them to be great men, but they are hardly more than teenagers.<br /><br />I don't write this to give them a pass. I mean to say that the responsibility to make these young men great is with their coaches, their teachers, and their fellow students to help prepare them to make greatness happen under-pressure. <br /><br />For the rest of this year, remember the football gods of our youth and be grateful for the abundance of gifted athletes we have today. This team may not have the best offense in the nation, but we surely has one of the greatest defenses LSU has seen. So if you are inclined to boo these athletic students, if you regularly ache to leave your seat before our 60 minutes are up, if you give these students anything less than encouragement, send your tickets to Philly and I'll gladly take your place to stand and yell as loud as I can for 60 minutes of hell to anyone who stands in opposition of Death Valley. <br /><br />T. Rockett.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-11962570961330680672009-09-24T13:22:00.002-04:002009-09-24T13:30:24.975-04:00a new post and aspirationsso i haven't written in a while and frankly i haven't felt like writing since i finished that mammoth thesis back in May. but i think i am turning over a new leaf. some jobs are calling me back for interviews, after not hearing anything all summer, and i've decided to take part-time or volunteer work if nothing else works out in order to gain experience and connections with an organization i respect. i came up with this strategy after sitting around waiting for three months, but it was mostly inspired by my brilliant little sister who is also unemployed but has a hopeful and creative spirit in here situation. she created this blog called <a href="http://unemployedlunch.wordpress.com/">the unemployed lunch</a> that is exactly her and so smart that i'm a little jealous. as a result, i feel a bit more inspired to write about my life and my experiences and i hope to share them here more regularly.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-84926977560637028412009-04-09T22:45:00.002-04:002009-04-09T23:24:24.224-04:00"Go in Unrest"On Maundy Thursday we come together to remember the sacrifice, the servitude, the pain, the sorrow of a sinless Savior replacing our just penance for his own mutilation. What good is there in this "justice"? Why should we, should I, not suffer the consequences of our birth, our lives, our faults? <br /><br />Only love greater than all mystery could see this as justice.<br /><br />The only adequate response then is silent reverence; sorrow for a way of greatest sacrifice. What pain this world underwent in these historic moments, knowing and experiencing the sorrow of God in its deepest form? the sorrow of God losing his ultimate whole-y-ness.<br /><br />For this we should go unsettled; though still remembering the end, we must come face to face with the painful experience of these moments in the journey, realizing the power that changed the foundation of history, that shook the core of humanity, that redefined justice.<br /><br />Without these unsettled moments, there is no joy or peace, no unconditional love or gentle release.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-3627697262390353182009-03-31T11:16:00.003-04:002009-03-31T11:24:15.943-04:00Obsessed with TEDIf you haven't seen this website or heard of this conference, you need to watch these lecture clips:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/j_j_abrams_mystery_box.html">J.J. Abrams</a><br /><a href="http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html">Elizabeth Gilbert</a><br /><a href="http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html">Ken Robinson</a><br /><br />All of these are both entertaining and stimulating, but there are hundreds of other lectures from some of the most brilliant people in seemingly every field of study on the planet. <br /><br />I have a new life goal: do something important enough that TED people want to know about it.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-4784919769279297772009-03-03T12:26:00.003-05:002009-03-03T12:50:55.402-05:00My SuperpowerI am completely stealing this post idea from a blog i just read, but that blog was about their kid's superpower and it was more satirical than serious, so i don't feel to bad about it. <br /><br />i think i have a superpower. <br /><br />as some of you know, (if there are people who read this), i donated bone marrow for a 63 year old woman with an acute form of leukemia in the fall of 2007. she has made a wonderful recovery and is doing quite well. i talk to here on occasion. what was extraordinary about the bone marrow match to me was that i had just registered in the late spring of the same year. it's quite rare for any non-family member to find a complete match, and many people on the registry never get called regarding even a potential match. so i was surprised that it happened so quickly, that we matched on all the necessary levels, and that it worked out so well for the patient.<br /><br />fast forwarding to 15 minutes ago, i received a phone call from the registry again saying that i was a potential match for a second patient. two matches in two years? how is it possible that i have been given the opportunity to potential help save two individuals lives with my blood, when thousands of other registrants go without a match entirely? <br /><br />superpower = healing marrow<br /><br />if you want to consider joining the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry, click this <a href="http://www.marrow.org/HELP/Join_the_Donor_Registry/Join_Now/join_now.html">link</a> and find out how to join online. (not to sound like a cheesy philanthropic t.v. commercial, but it's really easy and quite rewarding.)thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-11295283272343133792009-03-02T19:00:00.002-05:002009-03-02T22:56:09.650-05:00Foodover Christmas, I was home in New Orleans (or at least that geographic area) and one of the things that struck me most about the culture of my home is the central role that food plays in our lives. people from New Orleans or South Louisiana, not only eat some of the best food in the world on a regular basis, but we can't stop talking about food. while we eat lunch, we talk about what we would like to have for dinner. we compare the way this dish was prepared to the way others have made similar meals. we reminisce about the best Cajun meals we have ever had. we not only talk about food, but we allow food to be a point of connection for our lives.<br /><br />i've also really enjoy over the years the conversations i've had in my parent's kitchen at home. our whole family gets into the act of cooking and if there is nothing to do, we sit on the counter or sit at the table and talk about our lives, our desires, our troubles, trivial stories, and of course food. the kitchen is a central place in my parent's home and i would assume that many people have a similar experience. when i meet with friends in their homes (especially in Louisiana), i notice how we nearly always have the deepest/most significant conversations in the kitchen. <br /><br />it's amazing to me how central food can be in our lives for two reasons. One, food is or should more often be seen as communion. removing the word <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/communion">"communion"</a> from the Christian context for a second, communion can be defined as an act or instance of sharing, and/or intimate fellowship or rapport. having meals with family, having meals with friends, having meals with coworkers, acquaintances, or strangers is an opportunity to act communionally. not only do we share food (or at least share a space to have a meal) but we share stories, experiences, and pieces of our lives. we create a connection with others that builds the foundation for depth, love, and mutual understanding. now consider, how these ideas inform the Christian idea of communion. How is every meal we have with anyone not an act of communing with God and with people? <br /><br />Two, we can become obsessed with food as comfort, as pleasure or as necessity. with any of these obsessions, we choose and control what we eat (which could raise a whole different question about people who have to eat what others feed them without choices, but i don't want to go there now). i've been fascinated with the idea of fasting, especially since i finished reading Mudhouse Sabbath, as a way of releasing control of a part of myself and allowing God to remind me that food is not as significant as i make it out to be and that there are parts of me that can't handle the loss of control. i think it goes against the very nature of a New Orleans native to fast from any meal. but food can be so central that it distracts us from seeing that we need more than just ourselves to be good or contented people (i'm simplifying with the terms "good and contented" but i think those are core things that people want out of life). What would fasting show me about my life?<br /><br />last year during Lent (i think), liberti, the church i attend, decided to fast from having communion in church (see how these thoughts are fitting together) for the entire season leading up to Easter. i'd never been in a church where we had communion every Sunday until this church, but i found myself longing regularly for the elements of worship that communion brings. but more than the bread and the wine, i missed hearing one of my peers call me by name and say "body of Christ broken for you, blood of Christ shed for you". it was a significant absence of being reminded that i am in control too often and that i should step aside. but more than that, it was an absence of the reminder of God's affection for me. in its place, liberti set time aside for quiet reflection about what God is doing in our lives and where God is leading us personally or as a church. this fast from communion taught us to seek God more than even the elements of our "meal". and when Easter came, communion was a time of celebration for something all of us had deeply missed in our lives.<br /><br />food is central and it is meant to be central, but the people and creator we share it with are what makes food significant and powerful.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-2528578545846731652009-03-02T18:32:00.003-05:002009-03-02T22:58:44.457-05:00Snow day thoughtstoday has been a glorious snow day with sledding, snowball fights, and food with good friends. but in the down time of the day, i've also realized that i genuinely want to write more on this blog. so if by the end of the night i have five new post, it's an explosion of a number of thoughts i've been exploring without words for a while. sharing my thoughts (and feelings) in words are my best muse and when i don't do it, i neglect that part of me that likes to reflect on my life and observations. although i have a thesis to write over the next two months, i realize my need to get some of these other thoughts out before they fade away and i forget their significance. so here it goes...thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-34053283109240940582008-12-29T11:41:00.003-05:002008-12-29T14:22:18.565-05:00Homeless blundersOn a Friday night in December I led the homeless ministry prayer and scripture before a meal that my church serves in Logan Circle every Friday night. It was the first time that I had led anything in this ministry and I had a plan for how the night would go. That plan failed miserably.<br /><br />It was super cold and breezy that night and I knew that I needed to keep it short. I planned to just read the passage from Isaiah about the suffering servant and pray, keeping less than five minutes if possible. I was going to explain how our God knows what suffering is like, knows what homelessness is like, and can relate to the deepest pains we have as humans, because he chose to live it. I thought it would be simple and relate well to the Christmas season, reminding all of us why we celebrate Jesus's birth. However, it was extremely hard to gain anyone's attention. I assume that the general inattentiveness was in part a result of the cold, the food being late, and my lack of assertiveness in the situation, but I felt for a moment like a street corner evangelist, yelling to get anyone's attention, and it irked me. I fumbled my message and preached a prayer, all the while having a glaring sense of myself as a fake.<br /><br />Despite this awkward moment, it wasn't the most awkward of the evening. I was hanging around to have conversation with some of the people who come for the meal, asking how their lives are, and if they need anything that I can offer. One of the guys told me that his life really sucks. That it's not at all like what he expected it to be in Philly. I asked if he wanted to talk about it, and he just shrugged it off, generally implying that it is what it is. I wanted to care a bit more, so pried asking if I could pray for him and he glaringly responded that he was an atheist.<br /><br />Now on normal days when I have some tinge of extroversion, I would like to think that I respond with a curious tone, wanting to know why he doesn't believe anything more than non-belief in everything, how that has shaped his life. But this day, I was already dejected and I really just wanted to crawl back into my shell of introversion, and I shut down. <br /><br />I think I said something like, "Oh. Alright then. I might still pray because I think it matters, but you are welcome to continue to come and bring anyone to this meal. Especially to the Christmas service next week."<br /><br />Actually, I think I'm watering down how awkward it actually was and what I actually said. I thought later about it and still think that conversation as a complete laps of real care, concern, or representation of what I want to be like as a Christ-follower.<br /><br />But I guess that's just it. This blog isn't meant to be a lament of Christ-following failure; it's meant to point out that MY CONCEPT of righteousness is flawed. Look at how my plans and ideas shaped everything about that night: I had a plan for a message. I had an idea of how to communicate effectively with homeless people. I had an idea of what it looks like to share love from God with non-Christ-followers. Instead of my actions being an outpouring of belief, my concept of righteousness shaped my disappointment. <br /> <br />This flaw is, as most are with me and I would wager with us all, a control issue. If we control our plans, our ideas, our concepts of goodness, then we can measure the quality of our work and convince ourselves that we are doing good. By this measure, most of the time, I find my work to be less than adequate. I know what excellence is to me and I rarely, if ever, measure up. In fact, I sometimes feel trapped by incompleteness. <br /><br />What if I lived by a different measure? What if that measure was already determined about me and nothing I did could change it? What if an entire community of people lived this way/What would that look like? Would it make a difference in the way we live? Would it make a difference in the world?thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-60620092208644378902008-11-24T01:56:00.002-05:002008-11-24T02:00:41.460-05:00New Defensive Schemes are not Rockett Science!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_cdXDzuRDfzKII8ECnBmhlQE9ymnXm2kbceAISzRdgR0SW70slrjcAvlKC5IBtaiv_smI-zCPMqjhzmbvRH2PY-u6EzGc_POLtWSV4yl4Zy7CLV5sPkjvlAw0oCcup_IAlfU/s1600-h/Defense+2.5.bmp"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 302px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_cdXDzuRDfzKII8ECnBmhlQE9ymnXm2kbceAISzRdgR0SW70slrjcAvlKC5IBtaiv_smI-zCPMqjhzmbvRH2PY-u6EzGc_POLtWSV4yl4Zy7CLV5sPkjvlAw0oCcup_IAlfU/s320/Defense+2.5.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272115231543975906" /></a><br />For my Philadelphia friends, this post comes with a disclaimer: I am a huge and slightly crazy LSU fan. So much so that at 1am on a Sunday night, when I should be sleeping to prepare for two long days of research ahead, I am kept awake by the thoughts of why my team is falling apart this year.<br /><br />One of the main reasons college football scoring, and particularly SEC scores, and even more specifically LSU’s opponent’s scores, have gone up in the past few years is because of the innovations of new offensive schemes. Chief among these new innovations are two offensive schemes: the spread offense (Florida is the best at this right now) and the Wildcat running attack (also called the Wild Hog in Arkansas, the Wild Rebel in Mississippi, and I’m sure it has other nicknames as well. If you follow the NFL and not college, it’s what the Dolphins are using with Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown in the backfield).<br /><br />As these innovations have developed, what bothers me most is that defenses have approached these new schemes with the same philosophies that have worked on other offenses in the past 10-20 years: Nickel or Dime packages, the 3-4, or 4-3. DEFENSES NEED TO INNOVATE TOO!!!<br /><br />I love defense! Actually, I love a good defense of a team I care about (LSU), way more than I love that team’s ability to run up 50 or 60 points on their opponent. I want to see my team’s defense shutout the opposition. I want it to mean something for an LSU opponent to score more than 14 points on them in any game. And so, I’m proposing a new defensive scheme as an approach to dealing with the innovations of the spread or wildcat offenses. It’s the 2-5. Or maybe I’ll call it the 2.5.<br /><br />Here is what the base defense would look like (apparently at the top of this blog):<br /><br />It would have two down lineman and five linebackers/defensive ends/athletes like nickel backs that played off the line at the snap of the ball. Of the remaining four defenders, two safeties and two corner backs would cover the perimeter of the defensive scheme. On the weak side of the offensive formation, the cornerback (the best cornerback on the team) would play press coverage, man-to-man with the safety on that side spying the run or giving help on the receiver (similar to cover two). On the strong side of the offensive formation, one cornerback, one safety, two linebacker/nickel backs (or more) would zone the remaining receivers in the formation. Everyone else would crash in on the line of scrimmage according to different blitz packages or in anticipation of the spread run option.<br /><br />The idea is to limit the amount of people that the offense can key on as weak points on the field from the start of the play. Additionally, with only two down lineman on defense and everyone else crashing the offensive line, it would quickly wear on the offensive line’s strength and stamina throughout the game. It would also play a physical toll on the defenders that crash the line, so the team would need to have more than one group of competent “linebackers” that could alternate in and out throughout the course of the game, but if LSU recruits well, they have the talent on their team to do this.<br /><br />Any thoughts?thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-44173099804288679332008-11-19T17:06:00.005-05:002008-11-19T17:52:32.967-05:00Celebration aren't Rockett Science<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v373/142/47/2227158/n2227158_45412826_1048.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 604px; height: 453px;" src="http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v373/142/47/2227158/n2227158_45412826_1048.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />After all the celebrations that have taken place in the last few weeks in Philly and Nationally (the World Series Championship and the Presidential Election Results as the biggest two), I've been meaning to write about how these celebratory experiences were significant to me (and maybe to us).<br /><br />Celebration in general is very significant. When we show our excitement and passion for something, we show our true colors. You can't hide behind the facade of the middle road (the critic's road, the indecisive or objective road) and celebrate something. Nope, you have to put yourself out there and say "I care, and this moves me to joyfulness!!" (well, you probably wouldn't say it like that, but you would say "F*** yeah!!" or "Wahooooo!!!" or something else.) But you are really showing that you were invested. <br /><br />It's good to be invested in something. I think we often ride the fence in order not to get hurt or let down. I'm a king of this. I often stay indecisive so that I'm safe from the disappointment. I think it's noble and objective thinking, but really I'm just controlling my outcome.<br /><br />What I realize is that when we make a decision and have something riding on the outcome of an election or a sports team or some other random thing, we find community. Making a decision lumps me into a group of people who have made a similar investment of time, energy, and passion. When it succeeds, we succeed together. When it fails, we fail together. What's significant is that it breaks down walls that existed before. It loosens our views towards "those people" and helps us to realize that we are more similar than we thought.<br /><br />That was what was coolest about these past few weeks in Philly. Celebration has torn down some of the barriers that has kept this city bitter and it's people unfriendly. Who knows how long it will last (It's probably already faded a good bit with the change in the weather.), but for a season our hearts were softened. We hugged, high 5ed, and yelled in the streets together, and we felt like a real true community. Good celebrations can do that.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-33063361224720575712008-11-14T17:31:00.005-05:002008-11-18T09:26:05.802-05:00Diamond Mines, Not Rockett Science.It doesn't take rocket science to see that this diamond mine is a very bad idea. This is one of the largest diamond mines in the world and it exists in<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7184/598/1600/DiamondMine021.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 374px; height: 286px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7184/598/1600/DiamondMine021.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> Siberia. Given, it is in Siberia (an area of the world where I don't understand why anyone would want to live there, except people who might have extreme cases of allergies and can't handle ANY pollen seasons), but look at how large this mine is compared to the town around it.<br /><br />It could create a whole series of your crater jokes like:<br /><ul><li>Your crater is so big you need road signs to tell you which way is up.<br /></li><li>Your crater is so big it gave alien spacecrafts and meteors an inferiority complex.<br /></li><li>Your crater is so big it creates its own WIND current. (The last one is definitely true; I'm not sure about the rest. Feel free to add your own joke.)</li></ul><br />This disturbs me for many reasons but I'll share two. First, what is our obsession with diamonds in general? They are a nice, clear (most of the time) birthstone, but are they really worth digging a "black hole" to the center of the earth to find. I mean, they aren't even that rare. The diamond supply is completely controlled by two or three major distributors that regulate the price and create the buzz for the industry. Before the 1920's most engagement rings weren't diamonds; they were likely some simple ban of metal and (if you were lucky) your birthstone. So, the craze for diamonds is purely a marketing scheme that has shaped our culture and become a status symbol for love.<br />"How much do you love me, baby?'<br />"I love you enough to contribute to the destruction of the earth on behalf of this jewel."<br />(and for some, it is the size of the jewel that matters.)<br /><br />Second, there are some scientists working to develop a drill that will dig through the earth's outer crust and explore what lies beneath. It really is becoming a "Journey to the Middle of the Earth". (It sucked as a movie, maybe it will work as a science experiment.) The drill is like 25 times longer than the Empire State Building is tall.<br /><br />I know we are a curious species, but I see this experiment going badly. If we already have a greenhouse gas problem in our atmosphere that contributes to global warming, what will happen when we puncture the outer crust and create massive volcanoes and gas emissions that we will not be able to control?<br /><br />If you want some more information about this diamond mine, <a href="http://bldgblog.blogspot.com/2005/08/worlds-largest-diamond-mine.html">here</a> is where i found it.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-54533079994313312902008-10-21T14:15:00.002-04:002008-10-21T14:26:19.788-04:00Literature Review is Rocett ScienceYou know what is rockett science? <br /><br />No. I'll tell you what it is for me.<br /><br />It's writing a literature review!!! <br /><br />I am looking at the 25-30 resources I've read in the last few days to be able to write an analysis of literature that relates to all of the things I've studied over the past 2+ years, and what will shape my remaining work (writing a thesis) and I AM FROZEN by THIS PAPER. It's as if Einstein just walked in with a newly formulated theory of relativity and handed me his work to see what I thought. First of all. How would I know what to say to Einstein? and Second of all. I'm a social scientist, and I would be the last person in the world to understand what to do with a physics theory. So you see my problem....thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-72724811645444263272008-09-16T16:22:00.003-04:002008-09-16T17:18:29.558-04:00it's not rocket science!!<span style="font-family: georgia;">It really isn't. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">In order start writing on this blog again I have to tell myself, "It's Not Rocket Science". I don't know about you, anonymous reader (annon, because I haven't told anyone that I have started writing), but it is easy to convince myself that what I write is unimportant, unnecessary, unpolished, and just generally not ready for an audience of any kind. You see. I have this secret desire to use my cool last name to grace the front cover of a hardback book some day. Which means, I would have to have something important to say, or at the least some catchy idea that would convince a publisher I could put food on their table. (As far as I know, a cool name alone doesn't push merchandise. Right BonJovi? Oh, WAIT!!!) In order to come up with decent ideas, I need to be searching for what I find interesting; and for me that requires writing. So when I feel like I just can't do it, I need to remind myself that this is not rocket science.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Some things in life, for me at least, do seem to be rocket science. Finding a job tops my list this week. I am working on a Master's Degree in Community Development and I want to work for an organization that cares for the Urban poor. I thought I had a job lined up recently, but when the organization discovered that it was not going to receive a grant for community development work, my job position crumbled. So now it is back to square one. I am asking the same questions most 20-somethings ask like "how do I make a living doing something that really matters?", and "what am I </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">really</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> passionate about?", and "Am I really an expert in anything that would pay my bills?". Sadly, my 20s are dying but these questions are not. Is it time for me to grow up and take on some responsibility? Maturity to me is rocket science.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">But I shouldn't say that too loud our I might start convincing myself that everything is too difficult. So for now, I'll keep telling myself that none of this is THAT hard; I do have options. I do have ideas. I do have words to write. And I hope it sparks some interest.</span>thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1118241975639722682005-06-08T10:44:00.000-04:002005-06-08T10:46:15.646-04:00Earning the RightThere is a phrase that has been roaming around in my head lately. A friend of mine, Janelle, inspired it with her passionate quest to show teenagers the Truth with Love. She says that the majority of her work in Portugal thus far has dealt with building relationships with teens to the point that she has ‘earned the right’ to ask the hard questions. I think often in my own desire to walk with people, I walk a short distance the whole time thinking, ‘where are the opportunities for the hard questions. How long do I have to walk along these insignificant lines to get to the important ones?’ I seem to always be looking for the fruit, when the soil is not even ready for seeds. I want to be able to tell the stories about how God worked and changed a life forever to prove to you that your prayers and money were worth my decision, and that my decision was a good decision. I realize now, with the help of reading and living, that I am impatient about the task of building relationships.<br /><br />Sure there are relationships that God has blessed me with where those spiritually encouraging conversations came along very quickly. In fact, there is a girl named Elin, from and now in Sweden, who follows the philosophy of Buddhism. She, a few other friends of mine, and I took a road trip recently, traveling the southern part of Portugal by car in which I ended up being the ‘other’ driver (it was a standard automobile so that was extra fun for someone with little or no experience with a stick shift) and on the journey it was Elin that I most connected with because of her ongoing interest in the spiritual. We talked about the church and how corrupt a good deal of it was, but I also got the chance to tell her about the Savior who lived purely and had a revolutionary philosophy on life that the church doesn’t even come close to carrying out. At times I even felt it necessary to apologize for the way we have neglected the needs of the world and focused so much on ourselves, creating wars among us. I ended up giving her the book that I had wanted to give to Daniel, and I hope and pray that those words will inspire an even deeper search for the Light instead of enlightenment.<br /><br />What about Daniel? I rarely hear from him anymore and I have not seen him since I had a kind of forced talk about who Jesus is over dinner a month ago. He needed a friend but I wanted to be his pastor so much that I missed the opportunity to just be a friend. I never earned his trust, and I believe he ended up thinking that I was not really concerned with him, but more with sharing a message, like a track. I guess I am a typical Baptist, still concerned with pushing the numbers over the people. It was as if I were saying to him that I was superior to him in some way because of how I choose to live and what I know. The news flash for all of us is that we are no better or worse than anyone. We try to manipulate our lives into thinking that we are more deserving, and some like me tend to take the back road saying that I am less deserving, but Jesus did not work like that. He gathered a following of less than significant figures according to the culture’s status quo because they were the ones willing and able to accept that they needed His overflowing, unprejudiced love. The message was no different for the rich, but He said that it was harder for them to accept what they needed most because they had justified their positions in society. I fear that I often justify myself to righteousness because I have the knowledge of Him. Being rich in knowledge for the sake of knowledge is just as cloudy a wealth as money. ‘Earning the right’ means living as an equal to those around me, and when I feel superior, those are the times I need His servant-heart the most.<br /><br />The teenage guys small group has gone through a rough patch lately as well. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I have only known them for a month, but in the last week that became really clear. I was and still am passionate about inspiring Christ-like behavior for these guys, but there are some conflicts, because I think I am their pastor in a way, that I want to help fix where all I can really do is encourage change. There was a fight brewing between two brothers in the group last week, and instead of giving them the tools to work things out themselves, I felt that I needed to step in and assist them to resolve the issue. I realize now that it is not my place to resolve. That is where Jesus stands---in the middle, in the gaps. Like Paul at the end of Philippians, I realize that my place is on the sidelines like a coach encouraging and pointing out what needs to change, and telling all to encourage these lovely people to settle their differences. The true secret of the message of Christ is that joy comes in resting all of one’s will on Him. Relationships grow, changes are possible, and Love conquers the deepest fears when He is our strength. ‘Earning the right’ will start with impartial encouragement. To love is to see the people as equally great and the conflict, not as a war of wills to justify positions, but as a hindrance to Love Himself and His message.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1114614141133814562005-04-27T10:58:00.000-04:002005-04-27T11:02:21.136-04:00finally having significant wordsHello dear friends. My voice has been to faint from across the sea and I realize that I give you too little knowledge of my activity here in Lisbon. I am sorry for not being motivated and diligent enough to keep you coming often to my blog. However, for the audience that still remains, I wish to tell you what new and exciting things God is doing here with me.<br /><br />As I have stated before, I often read, finding the pages of other’s thoughts to be my challenge to grow, to become wiser, and to be changed not by my own efforts. I desire greatly to return to you with evidence of a life clearly aimed at the purpose of the One who sent me here. I realize that all of you are also changing and that our reunion may not melt into the way we were before. Both sadness and joyfulness run alongside these thoughts. Currently, I am reading every man’s battle, which is a book aimed at men desiring a sexually pure and free life. I have realized for some time now that my thoughts are so trapped by visual stimulation that I can hardly see who I want to become. It is an ankle clasp that has held me back from running towards the freedom of Christ’s message. A message so covered in love that its overflow gives confidence (not pride) to those who approach its truth. I want to run towards the truth, but even now in these words I know that my desire is weak. I want to want to run.<br /><br />Your prayers through my boredom have done great work. I realize now that boredom itself is a gift that provides the opportunity to listen and be still. Even though I am a borderline introvert, this concept of the gift of solitude has never really occurred to me. I pray now that I see these times in my life as a great gift and not a curse so that I can find direction and not wander in growing doubts. However, boredom is fading fast and God has given me some opportunities to work.<br /><br />Tonight I begin leading a guys small group associated with Young Life Ministries. The two awesome young women who lead Young Life in Lisbon are well, women. Because of this, the organization has found little breakthrough in the area of male leadership. Just weeks ago, for spring break, Young Life took a mission trip to Romania for a week. There were something like 150 youth who went on the trip, and of that group a hand full of guys have stepped forward to say that they would like to grow in their spiritual walk through learning together about the nature of Christ. Janelle asked me to lead this group for the coming weeks until Zaca, the man feeling the call to mentor this group permanently, is able to put all his efforts towards this. Currently Zaca is taking classes and he has projects and exams coming soon. I feel incredibly grateful to be able to contribute to the development of this much-needed group. It provides me an opportunity to know that I am leaving something behind when my work here is through. It’s a legacy I aim for. Pray that my values of honesty and growth will motivate them to desire similar patterns among themselves and knit them together in reliance on each other.<br /><br />Finally, for now at least, I finished the book Soul Survivor, and Ron had encouraged me to pass this book on to one of my college friends. He asked me to pray about whom that might be and how it might be used to bring glory to the Father. I did not have to pray or think long, because I knew that I needed to give this book to Daniel. I pray that it will be read and that we will have a chance to discuss the story of Christ and how it influences people’s lives. Continue to join me in this ministry with your prayers. They are always heard across the seas.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1112805525072263542005-04-06T12:28:00.000-04:002005-04-06T12:38:45.073-04:00a discussion forumif you have not seen "million dollar baby", i will try not to ruin the plot for you because it was a really good movie. the oscar's got the best movie of the year right this time. it ties in to the big debates of america right now about terri sch(something), the pope, and the idea of what is living and what is all but dead. <br /><br />what do you think is right or wrond in regards to euthanasia?<br /><br />(i will talk more on the comments side because i feel i would do exactly what i don't want to do and ruin a good movie for most of you otherwise.)<br /><br />lets discuss and remember principled tollerance.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1112804766853951622005-04-06T12:13:00.000-04:002005-04-06T12:26:06.856-04:00needing your wordshey friends.<br /><br />sorry i have not posted anything lately, but my life has been brutally boring for about two weeks now. why am i hear exactly? i miss activity and i miss home. i am not homesick right now, but i am thirsting for opportunity where the landscape seems dry. i know this is partly because spring break came so early and most of the people i had opportunities with were going home for two weeks. however, it still feel like such a struggle. i struggle to get up in the morning. sometimes i miss the morning altogether. it is partly a product of going to bed at 3am each night (it seems i prefer american time zones to the europeans), but truthfully i would do that most nights anyway. i read more than i have ever read before. i think i have finished 6 books so far, and by the end of the week it will be eight. i learn and like to learn from reading, but when that is all i seem to do that is fruitful, i feel unuseful.<br /><br />i guess what i am saying is that i would like to hear from you (kind of like pleading for complements but with words of encouragement). yet, don't let it go to my head. my ego rests somewhere between my eyes and my mind. i love you all.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594969281525502005-03-23T11:22:00.001-05:002005-03-23T11:22:49.280-05:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/640/march 12 034.jpg'><img border='0' style='border:1px solid #000000; margin:2px' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/320/march 12 034.jpg'></a><br />another chance to win! take your best guess <a href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbh.gif' alt='Posted by Hello' border='0' style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594935255748302005-03-23T11:22:00.000-05:002005-03-23T11:22:15.256-05:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/640/march 12 041.jpg'><img border='0' style='border:1px solid #000000; margin:2px' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/320/march 12 041.jpg'></a><br /> <a href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbh.gif' alt='Posted by Hello' border='0' style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594897767973722005-03-23T11:21:00.000-05:002005-03-23T11:21:37.766-05:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/640/march 12 054.jpg'><img border='0' style='border:1px solid #000000; margin:2px' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/320/march 12 054.jpg'></a><br /> <a href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbh.gif' alt='Posted by Hello' border='0' style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594818533204592005-03-23T11:20:00.000-05:002005-03-23T11:20:18.533-05:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/640/march 12 023.jpg'><img border='0' style='border:1px solid #000000; margin:2px' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/320/march 12 023.jpg'></a><br />I thought some of you may enjoy this one <a href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbh.gif' alt='Posted by Hello' border='0' style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594759735528952005-03-23T11:19:00.000-05:002005-03-23T11:19:19.736-05:00<a href='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/640/march 12 007.jpg'><img border='0' style='border:1px solid #000000; margin:2px' src='http://photos1.blogger.com/img/273/3535/320/march 12 007.jpg'></a><br /> <a href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbh.gif' alt='Posted by Hello' border='0' style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111594306710777262005-03-23T10:24:00.000-05:002005-03-23T11:11:46.833-05:00out loudhey guys. i sent some more pictures and it looks like there was an attempt to place them on this page, but it did not show up. i'll try to see what's going on with that and give you some more images soon. i tend to like nature stuff and less of the candid smiling people images, so those tend to be a rare sight in my collection of images.<br /><br />i finally finished the book <em>Wild at Heart</em> and it gave me much to think about. one thing that Eldredge points out in the later chapters, just like C.S. Lewis realized, is there is a war at hand that we are loosing because we choose to ignore its existence. there is an Evil one. he hates that you and i are seeking the truth and trying to find the life God had intended all along for us to live. his best weapon is whispering in your ear, that what you are going through is all you. but you and i, we could not have created these thoughts. you and i are something entirely different from the words that the Evil one slips in our thoughts.<br /><br />For example, jenny and i occasionally go through times where we doubt that we really and whole-heartedly care and love for one another. i talk as if i have more experience than i do, but correct me if i am wrong. there are voices in our heads that tell us our relationships, whether dating or friends or spiritual, are just superficial, that noone really cares that much about someone with all these flaws. i've seen it all the time in our group of friends and closer relationships. it is an insecurity that we think is from somewhere within us. yet we are the children of the One who's name is synonymous with Love. this can not be us, because we are defined by something much greater in goodness than we can even realize. the problem for me and i think for most of us is that to admit the voice comes from some other place is to believe in something mystical and risky; something we can not back up with any real tangible proof. that's the way the other side works. read <em>screwtape letters</em> and see if you hear some voice in your head telling you this is <strong>just</strong> fiction.<br /><br />if i continue to believe that i am creating the evil thoughts in my head and that i am irreverably flawed, then i will never grasp the grace of Christ. He came to give me a new name and a new identity, something that lives for a transcendent cause and leaves a legacy marked only by an arrow that points straight back to Him. i have started to change. i have started to believe that i am something greater than the mistakes i always make. i started this with the suggestion of Eldredge from the book <em>to ask God what my name is, and stay with the question until you get an answer</em>. that means i had to listen to a voice, mystical in nature, something rationality tells me does not exist unless i am crazy. what did i hear? i heard that God saw me as he saw joseph (the one with the technocolor coat). check out that story. i did. i believe God was telling me personally, that i am capable of turning the worst of things into gold because God is walking me through life and encouraging me to relish the adventure. instead of a why God attitude, joseph's is a what do i get to learn now, what test do you have for me to show my strength is growing. and the closer he gets to his strength the harder it is to resist temptation and give in to another kind of validation. first it is sex. then it is withholding forgiveness. what do i want? the power or the adventure? i have made my choice. power sucks.<br /><br />another thing i think i've missed in my relationship with God is that i treat it just as a spiritual thing. this the important and essential relationship i have, yet i never say anything to Him. i pray silently. i plead silently. He already knows what is in there, why have i never verbalized it for Him? am i afraid He would start to respond? inside the mind we have both the thought of our spirit and the thoughts of the Evil one i already explained. if we keep it only in our minds the thoughts get innertwined and we get confused about who we are and what our purpose is. i often get so distracted when i am just praying in my head. i drift so easily. but now i have started to speak out loud. the voice is not where the Evil one wants to be. so i encourage you converse out loud with the Father and see if you don't find something more refreshing than you can explain.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1111154135844156492005-03-18T02:54:00.000-05:002005-03-18T08:55:35.846-05:00Images From Afar<div style="text-align: center;"><code><img style="width: 516px; height: 685px;" src="http://68.212.94.239/img/thomas.jpg" /></code><br /><code></code></div> <code><br /></code> <div style="text-align: center;"><code><img style="width: 518px; height: 385px;" src="http://68.212.94.239/img/flower.jpg" /></code><br /><code></code></div> <code><br /></code> <div style="text-align: center;"><code><img style="width: 518px; height: 387px;" src="http://68.212.94.239/img/castle.jpg" /></code><br /></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246956.post-1110556494643768262005-03-11T10:27:00.000-05:002005-03-11T11:02:05.580-05:00turning into a monthly updateokay, sorry i don't do more of these.<br /><br />school started two weeks ago and i am comfortable so far with the material we have learned. the way it looks and works at the elementary stages compare to spanish as expected, but people who know french seem to pick up on the ear side much quicker. there are many nasal sounds that resemble french. the class is a group of 38 students, mostly from europe, but rarely more than one or two from the same country. name a county and see if we have a person in our class from there. (jenny and david excluded i think the class would survive the challenge.) it makes an interesting mix. the professor, when she is not speaking portuguese is speaking english so that makes me feel a little more comfortable, and provides me with understanding where others may struggle. this has created an opportunity to help and serve the others in my class. they all know english, but some are not as fluent as others.<br /><br />i was sick at the beginning of this week. i was weak, dizzy, and nauseous, but that is gone now. thanks for the prayers even if you didn't know what i was going through.<br /><br />i am beginning to realize that ministering to students is a very slow process. we were asked to set some measurable goals, weekly and long term, for this internship and they were hard to come up with. i see this ministry as something hard to plan for. you just need to go and build relationships where the people are. then i can do what i love to do: ask the hard questions. i guess that is my goal for ministry, to be more intentional in asking tough questions to know people on the inside. but with this i need wisdom, because to listen is one thing, but to advise or suggest is another.<br /><br />ron is also pushing us to get involved with a second ministry, kind of like a side job. i've thought about helping with the girls who run Young Life for this area. they have no guys as leaders and it would give me a chance to interact with a different group of minds in a different part of their lives. furthermore, youth give me energy to do stuff, when i would only sit around, talk, and have coffee with college students. these ministries will most likely conflict in their time schedules, so keep me in your prayers as i decide and learn to juggle both activities.thomashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379631137171411222noreply@blogger.com5