Earning the Right

There is a phrase that has been roaming around in my head lately. A friend of mine, Janelle, inspired it with her passionate quest to show teenagers the Truth with Love. She says that the majority of her work in Portugal thus far has dealt with building relationships with teens to the point that she has ‘earned the right’ to ask the hard questions. I think often in my own desire to walk with people, I walk a short distance the whole time thinking, ‘where are the opportunities for the hard questions. How long do I have to walk along these insignificant lines to get to the important ones?’ I seem to always be looking for the fruit, when the soil is not even ready for seeds. I want to be able to tell the stories about how God worked and changed a life forever to prove to you that your prayers and money were worth my decision, and that my decision was a good decision. I realize now, with the help of reading and living, that I am impatient about the task of building relationships.

Sure there are relationships that God has blessed me with where those spiritually encouraging conversations came along very quickly. In fact, there is a girl named Elin, from and now in Sweden, who follows the philosophy of Buddhism. She, a few other friends of mine, and I took a road trip recently, traveling the southern part of Portugal by car in which I ended up being the ‘other’ driver (it was a standard automobile so that was extra fun for someone with little or no experience with a stick shift) and on the journey it was Elin that I most connected with because of her ongoing interest in the spiritual. We talked about the church and how corrupt a good deal of it was, but I also got the chance to tell her about the Savior who lived purely and had a revolutionary philosophy on life that the church doesn’t even come close to carrying out. At times I even felt it necessary to apologize for the way we have neglected the needs of the world and focused so much on ourselves, creating wars among us. I ended up giving her the book that I had wanted to give to Daniel, and I hope and pray that those words will inspire an even deeper search for the Light instead of enlightenment.

What about Daniel? I rarely hear from him anymore and I have not seen him since I had a kind of forced talk about who Jesus is over dinner a month ago. He needed a friend but I wanted to be his pastor so much that I missed the opportunity to just be a friend. I never earned his trust, and I believe he ended up thinking that I was not really concerned with him, but more with sharing a message, like a track. I guess I am a typical Baptist, still concerned with pushing the numbers over the people. It was as if I were saying to him that I was superior to him in some way because of how I choose to live and what I know. The news flash for all of us is that we are no better or worse than anyone. We try to manipulate our lives into thinking that we are more deserving, and some like me tend to take the back road saying that I am less deserving, but Jesus did not work like that. He gathered a following of less than significant figures according to the culture’s status quo because they were the ones willing and able to accept that they needed His overflowing, unprejudiced love. The message was no different for the rich, but He said that it was harder for them to accept what they needed most because they had justified their positions in society. I fear that I often justify myself to righteousness because I have the knowledge of Him. Being rich in knowledge for the sake of knowledge is just as cloudy a wealth as money. ‘Earning the right’ means living as an equal to those around me, and when I feel superior, those are the times I need His servant-heart the most.

The teenage guys small group has gone through a rough patch lately as well. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I have only known them for a month, but in the last week that became really clear. I was and still am passionate about inspiring Christ-like behavior for these guys, but there are some conflicts, because I think I am their pastor in a way, that I want to help fix where all I can really do is encourage change. There was a fight brewing between two brothers in the group last week, and instead of giving them the tools to work things out themselves, I felt that I needed to step in and assist them to resolve the issue. I realize now that it is not my place to resolve. That is where Jesus stands---in the middle, in the gaps. Like Paul at the end of Philippians, I realize that my place is on the sidelines like a coach encouraging and pointing out what needs to change, and telling all to encourage these lovely people to settle their differences. The true secret of the message of Christ is that joy comes in resting all of one’s will on Him. Relationships grow, changes are possible, and Love conquers the deepest fears when He is our strength. ‘Earning the right’ will start with impartial encouragement. To love is to see the people as equally great and the conflict, not as a war of wills to justify positions, but as a hindrance to Love Himself and His message.